Thursday, December 13, 2007

More mad ravings...

First of all let me say that my fear of blogging has been realized. I was afraid that once I started it would be difficult to find the time to blog regularly. Guess what? I was right. Well, between finding the time and trying not to bore people to death, I have been slow at entering more posts. So, despite the fact that I may bore you to death (hey, you can always hit the exit button and go read someone more interesting...), here I go again.
Tyler turns eight today. I say "turns eight" because he was actually born at 8:27 AM and it is only 7:58 right now. It's hard to believe how much our children have grown! Next month Courtney is actually 16 years old! I wonder about this whole parenting thing... Am I doing a good job? How do (or will) I know? Will I be able to instill the right values in my children while balancing my love for them? Will they go away with a knowledge of God as a loving Father or a mean disciplinarian? Before this (this may come as a surprise to you) I had never been a parent before. My younger sisters and brother have argued that I raised them but I wasn't their mom. There's something different about raising your own children. I have to confess (maybe I'll be lucky enough that no one will tell my children this), being a parent is scary! I tell myself that these are God's children and I'm just taking care of them for a while. How do I stand before an all powerful God and tell Him that I'm sorry for the many times that I've messed up? Yet I mess up EVERY day!
When my children do something that I don't like and they come to me and tell me that they are sorry that they messed up, I still love them. How much more love does God have for me? Yet they aren't messing up other people's lives. I guess the only thing I can do (and I do do this) is to pray that God will forgive me and that He will guard their hearts from my mistakes and He will protect them despite the harm I cause. I tell them that I am human and that I will fail them but that God will always be there and will never fail them! And I hope it sticks (boy do I hope it sticks!)

Now I have to figure out this whole "Tag" thing. Thanks to my good friend Carla, I've been tagged! So last week when I found out I had been tagged, I copied and pasted (although obviously not correctly) the tag into my posting space. Then I answered everything and tried to post. HA! It got lost somewhere in cyberspace never to return! UGH!! So despite my awesome answers (you'll have to take my word for it), it is no more. Now my second (or is this the third?) attempt:

What is.....
1. Your favorite Holiday Movie? Muppet's Christmas Carol

2. The best Christmas present you ever received? Wow! What a question. I have been richly blest since Keith has entered my life so I couldn't know where to begin. Do I pick the Christmas before Courtney because I anticipated being a new mom and having a child the next year to share Christmas with? Or do I pick that next year when we got to celebrate Christmas through her eyes? Do I pick the following year when Keith surprised me (BIG time) with a ring that I wanted but knew we couldn't afford that he had been secretly paying on for months? Or was it the year that Bailey kicked him in the back on Christmas morning (the first time he felt her kick!)? Or maybe it was the year Tyler was born and we added our last little elf to the bunch. How in the world do I narrow it down?

3. Your favorite Santa memory? I think my favorite has to be last year (or the year before) when Keith made a collage of photos of the children with Santa (the real Santa - at the mall here in BG) and we framed the collage and took it to Santa. The children were so excited to be able to give him something for Christmas! It was fun to see their faces as he accepted the gift and gave them all hugs! He still remembers their names and little things about them. He is an incredible man (er, elf)!

Do you prefer...

4. Colored or white lights? That depends on my mood. White are beautiful but when I'm in a childlike mood, the colors are fun!

5. Artificial or real tree? Artificial. I can put it up sooner and I don't stay sick the entire season from allergies.

6. Prelit or stringing your own lights? Pre-lit. Although I think I miss the tangled mess of lights and trying to figure out which one bulb isn't working that has the entire strand blacked out and watching Keith circle the tree like a shark about to converge on it's meal, and the frustration of hiding the wires in the tree but having the lights show... definately pre-lit! LOL

Do you...

7. Bake anything special for the holidays? When I was growing up my mom had a special tradition of making Sugar cookies - millions of them! I wanted to carry on that tradition but I finally gave up. It was usually me in the kitchen with whichever children I could wrangle into "helping" and there weren't the photos or the enjoyment I remembered so I quit. Now I try to make something for people but it varies from year to year.

8. Put your tree up before Thanksgiving? After Thanksgiving. I think Thanksgiving is the most overlooked holiday of the year. I wish there were more focus on it but I guess it can't compete in the commercialized world we live in because you don't have to buy a thing to be thankful!

What is your...

9. Favorite Christmas food? Has to be Strawberry-pretzel jello salad.

10. Favorite festive place to go? To bed with Keith. Oh! Did you mean public place? Oops. I do enjoy it when we (whole family) go to the Opryland hotel just to see the lights.

11. Favorite Christmas Carol? Mary's Song, Amy Grant

12. Favorite Christmas Album? Amy Grant's "Home For Christmas"

Now to uphold Carla's tradition, I hereby tag Ashley and Dana. Have fun you two...

I've been on here long enough now that Tyler is offically eight years old now. I have to go wrap presents, see some clients,go eat lunch with Tyler and Bailey, order a high school ring (not mine) then make cookies for the school program tonight and pick children up from school. I'm worn out thinking about all that needs to be done! Gotta run. I will try to post sooner next time! Hopefully before Christmas but if not,I pray that this year brings you memories to sustain you throughout the year! God bless!

Friday, November 30, 2007

IT WORKED!!!  PHILIP, (ah, I mean, person who shall remain nameless!) IT WORKED!!!!!!  Thanks for the challenge - love ya!

So everyone keeps coaching me on this whole blog thing, which is good because I have no idea what I'm doing!! The thing is, I need more details... someone (who shall remain nameless, right Philip?) said I should post photos. Well here's my first shot at it. If this doesn't work (nameless person) it is because you are telling me to do something that I have NO IDEA how to do! LOL!! It reminds me of the first time I went snow skiing. I went with some friends. They said that they would teach me to ski. I went up the hill with them (medium difficulty because they were not bunny slope types). We got to the top and they said, "It's easy, watch us." Then some of them went down the hill. One stayed with me and went slow, but not slow enough. Of course I had NO IDEA what I was doing so I started down and went faster and faster and FASTER. Behind me all I kept hearing was "SNOWPLOW!" I thought one (a snowplow) was coming my way so I headed for a tree and hugged it - HARD! My friend came over and said, "You have to snowplow so you won't keep going so fast." Whatever the heck that means! I decided that my best lesson was going to come from watching until I had enough courage (or was it stupidity) to make it to the bottom of the hill (seemed more like a mountain!). I watch for about a half hour and then I tried it. You know what, I didn't learn what snowplowing was until much later because the people on this more advanced hill didn't snowplow, they darted from side to side. I learned to dart. Interestingly enough, the whole thing came very naturally for me and I had a blast! By the end of the day I was taking small jumps and loving it! So I imagine, after a few times landing on my rear end (can you do that blogging? LOL), I will get the hang of this. To be honest, even though I inserted a photo at the beginning of all of this, I don't know if it's there or not! All I see right now is a bunch of lettering and symbols. It certainly doesn't look like what I submitted!
Anyway, assuming the photo uploaded successfully and will look different when I hit "post", this is a picture that my brother-in-law took of Keith and I. Isn't he the cutest (Keith, not my brother-in-law, you can't even see my brother-in-law!)? O.k., you don't have to think so, but I sure love him (and I didn't think that photo was too bad of either of us)!
I want to thank all of you who commented on my last post... it really helped. Shoot, blogging was actually pretty cathartic (I'm such a therapist nerd). Anyway, it all helped and I'm feeling much better. No more informed than before, but better. Sometimes I just need to vent. You can ask Keith. He learned (thankfully) that sometimes when I'm whining and complaining, I don't want answers. Sometimes I just need someone to say, "Ahhhh, I'm sorry you had such a rough experience blah, blah, blah..." Actually it doesn't matter what they say as long as it isn't advice. Sometimes I just need to whine! Unfortunately for Keith, he gets to be my sounding board. But he says he likes it when I tell him how I'm feeling - a glutton for punishment, don't you think? Anyway, back to this little life lesson... Keith learned that early on in our marriage and I am so thankful! For a while he would say, "Is this something you want help solving or do you just need me to listen?" Then we could clear up any confusion in the beginning and avoid me getting mad at his desire to help. Ever had that experience?
I hope no one thinks this is my way of figuring out if I am as "normal" (whatever that is) as everyone else! I probably should have named this blog "Crazy woman's point of view" or something along those lines! I guess I just ramble on and on... but to be truthful, I don't much care if anyone thinks I'm "abnormal", I just pretty much say what I think (that isn't too offensive) and offer some comic relief. Life is SO fun to laugh at! Yes, even the really yucky stuff (at some point!). You should have been around our house this summer when we were all cracking jokes about not having a heart, or having a heart full of holes and therefore not whole. There was plenty to laugh at! Anyway, we do a lot of silly stuff around here, hopefully it relieves some of the tension of daily living! Everyone needs something to relieve that tension! My wish for you is that you can enjoy life a little more today than you did yesterday and that you will find laughter in strange places! Celebrate life today, you never know when you won't have it to celebrate (a morbid, but true thought).
We are leaving tonight for the senior high retreat. Lee must be hard up for chaperons cause he's letting us come :^} . Say a prayer that God will be revealed to all who go and that the young people will find some kind of relief from the stress of their daily lives and will draw off the strength that only God can provide. Please be praying for our youth and our church as we face the transition from Lee and Ashley to ? Have a great weekend.

Monday, November 26, 2007

ravings of a semi-sane white woman

Something happened to me this past week that threw me into a spiritual quandary.  Let me start by saying that my faith is solid, so please don't post a comment about how I need to strengthen my faith, etc.  Actually, this is something that satan has been putting into place for quite some time I think.  I don't mean to sound vain, no I don't think that satan has nothing better to do with his time than focus on me.  However, I do think he has nothing better to do with his time that plan to trip christians up!  Anyway, I try to focus my life on Christ and on God's will in my life as best I can.  I do my best and I pray for His blessings and I ask Him to fill in the spots that I fall short in some areas (many areas).  I had another occasion to do that not too long ago and this past week I got some feedback from that situation.  For whatever reason, one I simply have not been able to fathom, God did not choose to fill in the blank spots.  This confuses me.  The situation is embarrassing so I really don't want to announce it throughout cyberspace, but I realize this is confusing.  I think that maybe leaving it vague might allow you to put your situation into it and ponder your own reality for a bit.  So here I am basically not getting the answer to a prayer that I thought would end one way, and has taken a dive in the opposite direction.  It isn't that God doesn't answer prayer, it is that sometimes His answer is no.  I can usually understand and accept this, but this time it was more than my mind could wrap around.  I can find nothing good from this answer.  So as I ponder what the answer must mean, I come to this conclusion (sometime Saturday night or Sunday morning - I really wasn't sleeping much): regardless of the answer, regardless of my understanding, regardless of any of the circumstances beyond my comprehension, I am to praise God - just because He's God.  The "no" answer complicates many things for me right now but I can't choose to pout and deny praising Him because my world isn't as easy as I'd like it to be.  He is God.  For that alone is He worthy of my praise.  I think it was Randy Stonehill (not sure) who sings "Just Because You Are".  He sings about how easy it is to praise God when things are going well.  Any of you who really knows me well, know that there have been many times when satan attacked my world and according to stats, my life should have turned out a lot different than it is, but God basically told him (satan), "Not this one."  I will never understand that except to say, "But by the grace of God, there go I..."  So, Sunday morning (ish) I have this revelation that perhaps the answer was no because satan wanted to see what I'm made of.  Perhaps satan wanted some time to drench my heart in pain to see if all the blessings that I have are the reason that I praise God.  I woke to the fore-mentioned song in my heart and I sang it through tears in the shower and I'm listening to it through tears even as I write.  Then I went to church where, you guessed it, the same message was being preached.  Has anyone else struggled with the pain of rejection to the point of heartbreak (and I do mean painful heartbreak)?  What do you do?  What sustains you through the loneliness?  How do you feel God through those times?  I'd really like to hear ...  (how do you like that, an invitation to comment)  Thanks for listening to the ravings of a semi-sane white woman, I look forward to your wisdom.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Getting started

I'm finally doing this because so many people have encouraged it.  Frankly I have no idea why anyone would want to read what I have to say but I guess it might be fun anyway.  So now the question is, what do I write about?  
I imagine I should start by telling something about who I am.  I am, first and foremost, a daughter of The King.  Secondly, I am married to Keith.  He is a wonderful husband and treats me like a queen.  I just wish I was better at treating him like a king!  We have three children; Courtney, Bailey and Tyler.  We are very blest by our children!
I'll start by telling you a little bit about Courtney.  She is about to be 16 years old (January 20) and that will open several new doors!  At 16, she will start driving, can begin dating and can get a job.  And I thought I had heart problems before!  Bailey is 11 (May 5).  She has such a passion for life!  She experiences the whole spectrum of feelings that go along with that too!  Tyler will be 8 on December 13th.  I discovered something interesting about raising boys... the sum of the energy of two boys in one room far exceeds the sum of the energy of both boys apart from each other!  I believe this should be a mathematical law!
I really have no idea what kind of things to write and its been a VERY long Monday so I'm going to close for now.  I hope to try to figure this all (blogging) out somewhere in the near future!  I decided to call this "Do I Dare Blog" because I have no idea what I'm doing or if there is really anything worth reading that I would write.  Maybe over time people can let me know if I am writing anything of value or just wasting cyberspace!  Maybe I don't want to know!  Ha, Ha!! I better go ahead and close for now - its getting more and more lame.  More to come later...