Long time overdue!

Well, I know this entry is long overdue for those of you who read my entries. I have been asked by several people how it all turned out... The camping was cold and wet. Friday night was so cold that I hardly slept a wink. I lay there wondering if we made the right choice and then hoped that the children would remember the whole thing in a good light. Saturday morning we went to the Scouts flag raising. It took twenty people to carry the flag in, then they raised it on the largest flagpole in the National park system. The thought that immediately came to mind was, "This was worth freezing last night." Saturday started out beautiful and continued throughout the day! We all five had a great day and all five of us met the requirements for the Lincoln Bicentennial Award. That was nice but even better was the time spent together.
We overcame cold, no fire pit and rain together. We were able to focus on time together without cell phones or IPods or DS games. Nothing but family and fun! We made eggs in baggies and boiling water (pretty cool!) (Sidebar: this should be done with no more than three eggs per bag - six is too many and takes too long for the bags to withstand the heat - LOL!!). We met some new people and had fun using our new hand-washing station (which everyone thought was pretty cool). It was truly a great experience!
Courtney and Bailey got up and sang in front of a crowd, with a mic! We got pictures that will be favorites forever! I asked the others about the experience and they all said that it was fun. None of the children complained about the no electronics rule. They were all wonderful about the whole weekend (even the cold)! I think it will be a weekend remembered more with the fond memories than the cold wet ones (although I can't imagine that the cold and wet will be forgotten).
We had so much fun and got SO tired out that Sunday morning we decided that we needed to sleep in. Tyler and Keith were up as usual, Courtney stayed in bed until 10 and Bailey until 12. I was the sloth of all sloths and stayed in bed until 4:30! Of course I woke up with a migraine and couldn't get rid of it until 4:30 so there was nothing else to do!
Thank you all for prayers on our behalf! It was a great weekend! Even though the cold and wet will ever stay in our memories, I think it will be a good memory for many years to come!

Family bonding

Isn't it Smally who says that the best family bonding takes place during disastrous camping trips? Well, we are heading to southern Indiana for a weekend of camping in the rain-filled forecast. I'm excited about it and also wondering if this will be something we sit and talk about years from now as; "Do you remember that one time we went camping and stayed thee whole time in the visitor's center?" or "Do you remember that really cool weekend we spent at the Lincoln Bicentennial Encampment- man that was fun!" To further allow for bonding, we have declared it a weekend without "electrics". There will be cell phones for emergency use only, no ipods or other musical devices, etc. With one teen, one preteen and one electronics savvy boy, this should be interesting! If you think of it, say a prayer for us. I'll try to remember and find time to post after the trip to let you know how it went!
Have a GREAT Mother's Day!

Why today?

I usually try to keep this blog all upbeat but today (for God only knows what reason) I have decided to write about my mother. My mom died the Spring before Tyler was born. I was holding her in my arms when she died, something I will never forget. Bear with me while I vent... On a Monday I got a call from my sister saying that mom was very sick and we needed to plan to see her soon if we wanted to see her before she died. I prayed that God would keep her alive so I could be with her.
Mom and I used to go get coffee or lunch periodically and that night as Keith and I lay in bed (sorry Terri lol), I told Keith that I just wanted to have coffee with her one more time. Tuesday as I was making arrangements to go to Chicago, I struggled through a lot of childhood memories. My childhood was not the most pleasant but I think my mom did what she was able to do to make it the best that she could. Unfortunately, she wasn't equipt with the tools that she needed either! Anyway, one of the things that I prayed was that God would help me to go with no expectations from our time together. My mom had never told me that she was proud of me and I longed to hear that she was, but I knew that if I went with that longing, I would probably be disappointed. I prayed that I could not hurt over that but that I could support and help her.
Wednesday mom was told that she had a very fast growing type of cancer that had spread everywhere but her brain. Mom was a nurse, I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if it had hit her brain as well. She knew what she was up against. I got to the hospital to be with her Wednesday afternoon. I stayed the night with her and rode home in the ambulance with her the next day. Wednesday night was our time. Between her screams of pain, we had many good talks during that night. Mom talked about being scared of dying and where she would go for eternity. I was able to talk to her about God's grace and how she was a Christian and that God loved her no matter what. One thing she said was, "You don't know all the things that I've done in my life." I said, "Mom, I know a lot and if you want to tell me more, that's fine. It will not change my love for you and I know that my love for you pales in comparison to God's love for you. Satan knows where you will spend eternity based on God's promise and Christ's blood. Satan knows he's lost this battle, but he is trying to steal your peace from you while he can. He cannot have you for eternity so he wants you miserable until you die." Then we prayed for her to have peace that God was with her and taking her home. Sometime during that night my mom told me that she was so glad to have me there with her and that she was proud of me. I thank God for that, as a grown woman, I still needed to know that my mother loved me and that I had made her proud. Moms tell your children those things while you can.
Today i was listening to a little Reba McEntire. She songs a song about "If I had only known..." "If I had only known it was my last night by your side, I'd pray a miracle to stop the dawn..." I started to cry. My mother died the Sunday after we were notified of her cancer. I know that was a blessing. It was hard for us who loved her to watch her health decline so much, so fast, but she didn't suffer long. She went into a coma-state Thursday night. When her breathing sped up, I sang to her and stroked her head and it would slow down. I stayed by her side almost non-stop. Days I thank God and my husband for. Keith understood that my life had to be on hold to care for her and he and his parents did SO much to care for the girls' needs while I was in Chicago! I am so grateful for the time that I had with my mom during her last days. I am thankful that when my mother breathed her last breath, she sat herself up in the bed (the first time in days) and said, "I've got to go." She had her arms stretched out as if reaching in anticipation of a greater place. The moment she died, her body went cold and she didn't look the same. Her spirit was gone and the empty shell that was there meant nothing anymore.
I think the biggest blessing was that all six of her children and her mother and brothers were around her bed singing her into heaven when she breathed her last breath. I want to die like that someday (not for a while). I want the people I love around me, singing me into heaven. Now my mind flows to Jeff's death. I can't go that far right now. I don't know why all of this came to me today, I know that I realized a few things though. I took my mother for granted. There is a line in Reba's song that says, "...I foolishly believed that you would always be there..." I guess I thought the same. I have no pictures of my mom hanging up in my house, I haven't been able to hang any memories... I think it's time. I want to be able to tell other people of the impact she had on me.
I remember my mom sliding down the stairs on pillow cases with us children until she laughed so hard she wet her pants (sorry mom)! I learned to be a fun loving mom from my mom. I learned to laugh and play with my children from a mother who laughed and played with us! All my memories growing up aren't wonderful but my mom offered all that she had to make me who I am today. There are some things that I make a point not to hand down to my children, but I hope that some of the things that my mom taught me are ingrained into their heads and hearts! I hope that her love for God is evident in my life. I hope that her dedication to service is clearly exhibited through my life. I hope that her laughter is passed down to my children and that their children and many others benefit from it!
I'm not sure if this post is helpful to anyone but me, but I needed to say thank you to my mom and this seemed like one of the best ways to do it. Thanks for bearing with me if you made it this far. For all of you whose moms are still living, give them a hug. For those of you who have lost your moms, remember the good things they taught you and pass it on to your children. Most of all, no matter how irritating some people are, don't assume that they will always be there to ignore or tolerate. Show them God's love despite the pain in the rear end they might be, I know I appreciate it when you do me that way! LOL!! Have a great weekend!

My periodic post...

We had a good sermon today (not that that is unusual)! One of the things that Bill said that stuck with me was, that we cannot rely on our spouse to be our spiritual anchor, only God can be that for us! It reminded me of many years ago when I was a teenager. There was a young woman in our church who was single and very excited for God! She was a great example to me and I respected her very much. Then one day she went forward to ask for the prayers of the congregation and to pray for forgiveness. She was pregnant. Of corse back when we were teens, that was the big taboo, now who knows what it would be today?!? Anyway, I remember that a lot of the girls were devastated and fell away from church and God. I was probably the closest to her before the incident but my faith remained solid because my faith wasn't in her, although to be honest, it did shake! But my faith was in Christ and I could realize that she was human and would fail me despite her best efforts. Maybe some of that came from my upbringing... you know you get disappointed and/or hurt enough by people, you quit trusting them to that extent. But honestly I think it taught me a very good lesson. I had to face the fact that we humans fail and that is why our standard HAS to Christ. When we put other humans in that place, we are disappointed often, when we put God there, He never fails.
Another thing occurs to me as I consider the place of my spouse in my life... I am SO blest!! Keith is a godly man who seeks to serve and glorify God and as a result treats me like a queen! This is a wonderful place for a woman to be, but it is also a stepping stone for satan. My heart must belong to God. He, and only He, deserves to be on the throne of my heart! The problem with having a spouse like Keith is that satan likes to take even the most pure and godly things and twist them to his purpose! So where does Keith fit into that equation? I have found myself praying for forgiveness and strength many times about who is on the throne of my heart. You see satan wants me to replace God with someone else, so when Keith is so good to me and our family, and when he is so godly, satan slowly helps me slip Keith onto God's throne! I have to pray for forgiveness for putting Keith there and I have to ask for strength to remove him. I know that God is a jealous God and I know that I should only have Him on His throne and I know that it is DANGEROUS to have someone or something else on His throne. You see God's nature is to remove that someone or something else if I am truly turning my life over to Him and asking Him to be in control... So if I leave Keith there, God will remove him some way or another. That is scary!! I have to remember that satan will use even the gifts that God has given to us, even the precious blessings that He gives us, to pervert our relationship with God! It is my job to keep God in His place in my life and heart, and to put His blessings in their place in my life. Sometimes its a hard balance because the master of deceit uses the blessings of the Master of Life to fool me! It's just another area that we have to be on guard from the evil one and keep our Master and King on HIS throne!
Well, that's about all for today's post... maybe I'll get in another one this month - LOL!! For all of you faithful readers (all one of you - LOL), thanks for your patience! Have a great day and may the Creator of life bring examples of His majesty into your day to help you re-experience the wonder of His creation!

question

What is faith? Please don't give me the "textbook" (Bible) answer. Tell me, from your heart, "what is faith?" Do you walk in it? How? How do you know if you are stepping in faith or stupidity? How do you know if your choice is an answer to prayer or a stupid decision you've made along the way?

Courtney is 16 now. Every birthday that passes for our children takes me back to the day of their birth. No matter how old they get I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't think we understand this phenomenon until we have children of our own. For me birthdays seem like a time to remember. I go back through the years and remember the birth of our children and I think of lots of fond memories from the years past! So at the risk of embarrassing my oldest daughter, here are some of those memories. Obviously I could write about her birth... how the first sound she made was the sweetest sigh I ever heard. I recall the day she sat in a corner and "tested" various laughs to pick hers. I remember her cleaver remarks, including the day she got face to face (literally) with a caterpillar and said, "You gonna be a butterfly hon." Her inquisitive personality amazed me and re-opened my eyes to things no longer seen. She is 16 and we continue to marvel at the blessing that she is! I still enjoy the brief time we have together in the car alone when she rushes through the details of her day! Her love for others is encouraging and exciting to witness. She is so excited to learn to drive and now there is little to hold her back. I sometimes wish that she would grow past this stage or that and at other times I wish she was still that little baby that the nurse finally brought for me to hold and care for for the rest of her life. I'm sure this all sounds like sentimental silliness to some, but hey, it's my blog so you can either enjoy my ramblings or quit reading right? Lucky for you I have to close for now so I'm going to add a photos of my 16 year old (must be adopted - LOL!!) and close for now. I hope that you cherish each moment that you have with your children because no matter how many times we hear it, time passes by too fast and they grow up before we know it! I keep telling myself that there will come a time when I will wish that I had these (sometimes trying) moments back again. I pray that God blesses you with many fond memories that will bring smiles to your face during those years that you long to relive them!

More mad ravings...

First of all let me say that my fear of blogging has been realized. I was afraid that once I started it would be difficult to find the time to blog regularly. Guess what? I was right. Well, between finding the time and trying not to bore people to death, I have been slow at entering more posts. So, despite the fact that I may bore you to death (hey, you can always hit the exit button and go read someone more interesting...), here I go again.
Tyler turns eight today. I say "turns eight" because he was actually born at 8:27 AM and it is only 7:58 right now. It's hard to believe how much our children have grown! Next month Courtney is actually 16 years old! I wonder about this whole parenting thing... Am I doing a good job? How do (or will) I know? Will I be able to instill the right values in my children while balancing my love for them? Will they go away with a knowledge of God as a loving Father or a mean disciplinarian? Before this (this may come as a surprise to you) I had never been a parent before. My younger sisters and brother have argued that I raised them but I wasn't their mom. There's something different about raising your own children. I have to confess (maybe I'll be lucky enough that no one will tell my children this), being a parent is scary! I tell myself that these are God's children and I'm just taking care of them for a while. How do I stand before an all powerful God and tell Him that I'm sorry for the many times that I've messed up? Yet I mess up EVERY day!
When my children do something that I don't like and they come to me and tell me that they are sorry that they messed up, I still love them. How much more love does God have for me? Yet they aren't messing up other people's lives. I guess the only thing I can do (and I do do this) is to pray that God will forgive me and that He will guard their hearts from my mistakes and He will protect them despite the harm I cause. I tell them that I am human and that I will fail them but that God will always be there and will never fail them! And I hope it sticks (boy do I hope it sticks!)

Now I have to figure out this whole "Tag" thing. Thanks to my good friend Carla, I've been tagged! So last week when I found out I had been tagged, I copied and pasted (although obviously not correctly) the tag into my posting space. Then I answered everything and tried to post. HA! It got lost somewhere in cyberspace never to return! UGH!! So despite my awesome answers (you'll have to take my word for it), it is no more. Now my second (or is this the third?) attempt:


What is.....
1. Your favorite Holiday Movie? Muppet's Christmas Carol

2. The best Christmas present you ever received? Wow! What a question. I have been richly blest since Keith has entered my life so I couldn't know where to begin. Do I pick the Christmas before Courtney because I anticipated being a new mom and having a child the next year to share Christmas with? Or do I pick that next year when we got to celebrate Christmas through her eyes? Do I pick the following year when Keith surprised me (BIG time) with a ring that I wanted but knew we couldn't afford that he had been secretly paying on for months? Or was it the year that Bailey kicked him in the back on Christmas morning (the first time he felt her kick!)? Or maybe it was the year Tyler was born and we added our last little elf to the bunch. How in the world do I narrow it down?

3. Your favorite Santa memory? I think my favorite has to be last year (or the year before) when Keith made a collage of photos of the children with Santa (the real Santa - at the mall here in BG) and we framed the collage and took it to Santa. The children were so excited to be able to give him something for Christmas! It was fun to see their faces as he accepted the gift and gave them all hugs! He still remembers their names and little things about them. He is an incredible man (er, elf)!

Do you prefer...

4. Colored or white lights? That depends on my mood. White are beautiful but when I'm in a childlike mood, the colors are fun!

5. Artificial or real tree? Artificial. I can put it up sooner and I don't stay sick the entire season from allergies.

6. Prelit or stringing your own lights? Pre-lit. Although I think I miss the tangled mess of lights and trying to figure out which one bulb isn't working that has the entire strand blacked out and watching Keith circle the tree like a shark about to converge on it's meal, and the frustration of hiding the wires in the tree but having the lights show... definately pre-lit! LOL

Do you...

7. Bake anything special for the holidays? When I was growing up my mom had a special tradition of making Sugar cookies - millions of them! I wanted to carry on that tradition but I finally gave up. It was usually me in the kitchen with whichever children I could wrangle into "helping" and there weren't the photos or the enjoyment I remembered so I quit. Now I try to make something for people but it varies from year to year.

8. Put your tree up before Thanksgiving? After Thanksgiving. I think Thanksgiving is the most overlooked holiday of the year. I wish there were more focus on it but I guess it can't compete in the commercialized world we live in because you don't have to buy a thing to be thankful!

What is your...

9. Favorite Christmas food? Has to be Strawberry-pretzel jello salad.

10. Favorite festive place to go? To bed with Keith. Oh! Did you mean public place? Oops. I do enjoy it when we (whole family) go to the Opryland hotel just to see the lights.

11. Favorite Christmas Carol? Mary's Song, Amy Grant

12. Favorite Christmas Album? Amy Grant's "Home For Christmas"

Now to uphold Carla's tradition, I hereby tag Ashley and Dana. Have fun you two...

I've been on here long enough now that Tyler is offically eight years old now. I have to go wrap presents, see some clients,go eat lunch with Tyler and Bailey, order a high school ring (not mine) then make cookies for the school program tonight and pick children up from school. I'm worn out thinking about all that needs to be done! Gotta run. I will try to post sooner next time! Hopefully before Christmas but if not,I pray that this year brings you memories to sustain you throughout the year! God bless!